Final+Exam


 * PART ONE:** Self-Evaluation: "Plastic Freedom" (First Poem Written)

One weakness very clear in this poem is the title. While it may be relevant enough, the word "plastic" does not clearly convey my intended meaning. It was intended simlpy to be "Plastic Freedom" simply because driving licenses are plastic, and nothing more than that; it does not work though, because plastic represents cheap, fake, insignificant material. Plastic freedom seems completely inferior to the true freedom obtained when one obtains his or her drivers license. Another weakness I saw was in the choppiness and abrubt style the poem had. While this may work for some, it was a bit distracting from the poem's core meanings and was not consistent.

Through our numerous times during which we did peer editing activities and wrote multiple drafts for our work, I have become much more likely to catch these faults and correct them. An example of my strides in this class would be my hobo poem, entitled "But I Did Not Shoot the Deputy". While the rhyme scheme and style may seem juvenile to some, i felt that this poem actually did well to reflect my major improvement in maintaining one consistent style and mood throughout a poem. I was also happy with the title, probably because I did not try so hard to have a metaphorical or symbolic meaning for it.

Here is a more appropriate version of my first poem:

Sweet Sixteen

As the car shifts into drive, so does the mind; Hands grip the wheel, eyes grip the road; Mind spinning, tires spinning, nothing could feel so new. Lights surround me, it must be Christmas. No, it is just traffic lights controlling my every all-important application of pressure to a pedal. Oncoming headlights stare, Judging my every move; Each one more critical than the parent sitting next to me. A thought--one card, plastic freedom, gives so much power. The mind and car wander, And the road moans. I shift my one hundred and thirty pound frame To shift my two thousand pound vehicle back onto the road; The judges frown.


 * PART TWO:** Short Story Evaluation: "Flies are not Cool"

One major weakness in the story is the inconsistency in point of view; it very randomly varies from the view of the female fly to that of Hugo or his sister. This flaw renders the story quite unclear and weak. The author could strengthen this weakness by either choosing one of the point of views to use throughout the story or by structuring the story in an organized fashion in which all views are presented equally often.

One strength the story has is the detail. Each character provides a decent mental image and distinct personality. This strength at least allows the reader to have somewhat of a connection to the plot; without the details, this would be a bare frame for story that needed considerable work.